The MBTI Changed My Life Forever (Story of a Gay INFJ)

I am an “INFJ.”

Four simple letters possessing seemingly all of the answers to my questions in life.

I owe a GIANT thank you to the Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator (or simply called the MBTI) which was administered to me this fall in my Management Skills class at Rutgers University’s Business School.

The MBTI is essentially a personality test that sorts people into one of sixteen possible personality types. The Myers-Briggs personality type indicator arranges general preferences all people have into four dichotomies.

E or I.
S or N.
T or F.
P or J.

The results are intended to help people gain a stronger understanding of themselves and to learn how to best interact with others. It is a phenomenal tool for gaining deeper insight into your inner world.

Okay, okay, I’ll admit it. I was not always as much of a fan of the MBTI as I am now.

Initially, I was pretty upset when I was told on my first day of class that I would need to pay $30.00 for what I thought was “just another personality test.” It sounded like I was required to pay to get a horoscope or something. Since I foolishly assumed it would some strange astrology thing, I didn’t see any value in it. It felt like I was paying to take a BuzzFeed quiz or something. As a first-year student in college who had already spent over $500 of my own money just on textbooks alone, never mind not having a job to replenish any of that, it was hard for me to fathom why I needed to pay even more money for a personality test.

Well little did I know…

Looking back, the money given to take the MBTI was WELL SPENT in respect to the value I received from taking the assessment. What if I hadn’t? Quite seriously, my life wouldn’t be the same. It wouldn’t.

In fact, I truthfully can’t even assign a monetary value to the amount of insight it has provided me with. Let’s just say when I opened up my personalized report, I literally gasped in awe. I even got emotional as I read the details inside. (I’ll explain why soon.)

Before I go on, I want to summarize the possibilities within each of the four sections of the MBTI to help you understand the meaning behind those weird four-letter codes you’re seeing scattered throughout this post and across the internet.


It is of the utmost importance that you understand that introversion/extraversion is NOT about whether you are “shy” or “outgoing,” nor is it about being “social” or “antisocial.” It has NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT.

Rather, E/I is focused on recognizing where you draw your ‘energy‘ from: be it from your inner world or your outer world.

Here are some questions to figure out where you might fall:

Do you yearn to attend social gatherings and parties? (E)
Or do you thrive during alone time? (I)

Would you rather grab food in a large group? (E)
Or eat alone or with one close friend? (I)


In my opinion, sensing and intuition are the two most difficult to distinguish. This section is focused on how you interpret information.

Are you very observant of your physical surroundings? (S)
Or do you over-analyze conceptual details? (N)

Do you interpret things very literally? (S)
Or do you see beyond what is explicitly stated? (N)


The third section focuses on your use of logic or emotion in making decisions.

Do you choose what seems logically sound? (T)
Or do you consider how your decisions may affect others? (F)

Are your decisions fairly consistent? (T)
Or do you find yourself making special circumstances? (F)


The fourth and final section is about the approach you take in structuring your life.

Do you prefer to follow a schedule? (J)
Or just go with the flow? (P)

Do you pre-plan an agenda? (J)
Or stay open to new possibilities? (P)

Your Personality Type

Based on your answers to the questions above, the MBTI arranges the four letters code to determine your personality type! To give you an example, “INFP” would be one personality type whereas the total opposite would be “ESTJ”. All 16 possible combinations include ISTJ, ISFJ, INFJ, INTJ, ISTP, ISFP, INFP, INTP, ESTP, ESFP, ENFP, ENTP, ESTJ, ESFJ, ENFJ, and ENTJ.

It is important to understand that ALL TYPES ARE EQUAL. No one type is “better” than another. The MBTI is called an “indicator” for a reason. This is not a “test” because the word “test” implies that there are right and wrong answers- which in this case, there are not. The indictor is looking to generalize trends.

So which personality type do you think you are?

When I got my Interpretive Report back, my life was changed forever.

According to my MBTI, I got I, N, F, J.
Okay, but what did that mean? I read on.

I was intrigued. I decided to Google “INFJ” to see what I could find. Websites like this, this, and this helped me grasp what exactly I was discovering about myself.

I literally gasped as I read the MBTI report in my dorm room. My roommate asked, “Rocky, are you okay?” and I responded, “Oh yeah, sorry about that. I’m just discovering something pretty, uh, crazy about myself right now. Sorry, I didn’t mean to react aloud like that!” In a hurry, I picked up my laptop and ran outside to sit beside a tree. My eyes started to tear up a bit. Not because I was sad – in fact, it was quite the opposite. I have never felt so enlightened in my entire life.

Introverted. Intuitive. Feeling. Judging.

A four-letter combination linked to a description that fits me PERFECTLY. While the MBTI report was general in some respects, what I read online was not. I felt like I was reading something written about me in such a powerful way that’s almost hard to describe unless you’ve experienced it before.

In past posts like “Antisocial” or “At Peace”?, I was really questioning why I am the way I am and NOW I UNDERSTOOD EVERYTHING. In posts like Daily Prompt: INTJ, I described my introversion without even knowing what introversion was! (Haha funny- I’m just noticing the MBTI reference in the Daily Prompt’s title now- almost one whole year later. Never knew what it meant.)


I also learned that INFJs are the least common of the 16 personality types. We make up around 1% of the world population- and less than 0.5% are men. I am also gay which supposedly drops the statistical percentage closer to 0.0086% of the population! Guess that helps explain why sometimes I feel really alone sometimes…

Taking the MBTI was an emotional breakthrough for me. I have been happier and more self-aware ever since I got my personalized report back. I hope those of you reading this post learn something about yourselves too because I know how amazing it feels. If you haven’t done so already, you should consider paying to take the real Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator – it was well worth the money! Once you know your type, take the extra step and do some research. Find out more! Don’t limit yourself to what’s listed on your report because there’s a whole world of information out there just waiting to be discovered!

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  3. I am an INFP, which is pretty close to your INFJ. Over the years I have done the MBTI a number of times and seem to fall into INFP pretty regularly. I have never before considered that there might be some differentiation based on sexual preference, though it kind of makes sense that there could be.

    1. The Rocky Safari

      Awesome, INFP’s are the best listeners! I’m not sure how detailed the research has been on sexual preference and MBTI but it makes sense for there to be a decrease in prevalence as you narrow things down. So happy to meet you! Thanks for following my blog! 😀

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