I can’t believe what took place Thursday afternoon.
Earlier in the day, I took a calculus test that I undoubtedly failed – even though I studied for it SO MUCH. As all of my loyal blog readers know, CALC IS A MAJOR STRESSOR IN MY LIFE. Ever since day one of class, I’ve been paranoid about being able to pass, confused about all of the material we were learning, and just worried about how it would impact my grades in general.
I went to my high school and talked to a Guidance Councilor. She told me withdrawing from the class would eliminate course credit and my parents would have to pay $400 (vs. being free) but it would save my GPA and class rank [by A LOT.]. I called Rutgers to see if it would be ok and the lady told me that Rutgers would much rather see me drop the class and handle the situation maturely than to fail it or even get like a D which was the highest grade possible at this point.
After a bit of crying and a phone call or two with both my mom and dad, I decided to drive back to my college and get the paperwork to withdraw. It was literally devastating because just last night my Dad was telling me about how proud he is of me for being able to take calculus and how he knows how with the way I focus, that I’ll have no problem getting through it… And 24 hour later, I’m dropping the course. I signed the withdrawal forms and submitted them to the registration office.
That’s it. Just like that – no more calculus. I’ll have to retake it at Rutgers but who cares? Now I’ll be familiar with it! I’m still going to attend classes, still do the homework, still treat it like any other class but the only difference will be my lack of tests, grades, and credit for the class. Oh well, I learn because I want to learn – not just because I want an A or B on some document.