How My Family Discovered Grindr on Christmas Day

Last Updated on May 30, 2021

I come from a large family where I can say with some confidence that I am possibly and probably the only gay guy. Could there be someone in the closet? Maybe, but I’m doubtful. I am sure my family has the potential to be accepting of the LGBT community (especially if they knew about me being a member of it) but that doesn’t mean they currently have gotten to that point yet. Where each and everyone would accept and love a homosexual with open arms. Without making slurs or offensive comments. I say this because I’ve heard a few homophobic remarks made by my family in the past. After hearing the stuff that gets said, I’m left with very little desire to even want to come out to most people.

Every time my uncle throws a party, he invites a very close family friend. An older gay man who was childhood friends with very my dad and my grandfather. My family has known about his gay sexuality for years, they accept it (to my knowledge?), and continue to welcome him to all of our parties. That alone is a huge win for me.

I have a chance of being accepted.

I guess this relative also dabbles around in the world of digital dating (I believe he’s currently single) because all of a sudden, as I’m in the middle of a conversation with my mom, sister, and my two female cousins, he walks in the room with my dad and two uncles, whips out his iPhone, and says, “Look at this guy!

He shows us all a picture of a reallyyyyyy hot guy.

In my head, I instantly thought, “Gosh… he looks so familiar! But why? He’s certainly very cute!”

My uncle continues, “He’s only 300 feet away. This guy is on a gay app called Grindr.”

Aaah. That’s why I recognized him.

My other uncle who was hosting the Christmas party shouts, “WAIT A MINUTE! That’s my neighbor’s son!”

Then a cousin shouts, “I went to high school with him!”

An uproar ensued as everyone started gossiping over the gay guy next door.

My uncle finished by saying, “You’re welcome, stranger! You’ve been outed by your neighbor’s friend. Aw, poor kid.”

I sat there in silence with three troubling thoughts. First off, I recognized this kid which was just bizarre. Second, I had to sit there and pretend like I didn’t know what Grindr was meanwhile I could have probably explained it better than anyone else. Third, OH NOOOO! I HAVE A PROFILE ON GRINDR! They’re going to see it.

My account on Grindr has no photos, no details, nothing. It’s empty but it is there. 

This guy was freaking out with my dad and my family because they found a gay guy less than 300 feet away. Well, that is just super because that means there was another empty profile image right before that one with no photo or caption but a distance of even less than 300 feet BECAUSE ME AND HIM WERE IN THE SAME ROOM!!! I guess it is safe to assume he now knows that blank account is mine. He has to know now. He just has to. Maybe this was all a way of him coming out to me to let me know I can confide in him? Who knows.

And that’s the story of how my family discovered Grindr and the boys on it right before Christmas dinner.


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The Rocky Safari