Will My Parents Let Me Live in a Gay Dorm?

Last Updated on August 25, 2023

I don’t know why my roommate and I are having such bad luck with housing at Rutgers…

We both got terrible lottery numbers and as of right now, not only do we still not have housing for the fall semester but there are another 20 people ahead of us on the waitlist. It has gotten to the point where I can’t even name a single person I know who doesn’t already have their living arrangements figured out for the fall.

Let’s just say if my roommate and I could commute, we’d be commuting.

With off-campus options running out and very little time left for an on-campus offer, I feel like we only have one option left. Rutgers has a rainbow gender-neutral dorm for the LGBT community and my roommate and I would both be eligible to live there together.

The problem: I don’t know what I’m going to tell my parents.

They’ll either see it the way I see it and be super happy and grateful that such an option exists…


They’ll FREAK OUT and forbid me from living there.

(Again, I don’t think they’d react that negatively but I never really know what to expect anymore.)

Mom and Dad, welcome to Rainbow πŸ˜‰

I can just imagine the five hundred million different ways the conversation could go. I’m concerned that asking to live in an LGBT dormitory is going to serve as “confirmation” that I’m “actually” gay and that coming out wasn’t a joke – and that won’t go over well.

I don’t think they took it seriously when I came out.

I can totally picture my mom telling me that I can’t live in the dorm because it would validate the truth too much since she is still hanging onto this last string of hope that I might one day magically decide to be straight again. Obviously living in a gay dorm won’t speed up that journey…


  1. I sense you know where I come from Rocky…. There is a point at which this is your life. You make your choices, Your parents do not. If they really want to be unloving (and ridiculous) about the matter, they can pull the “Well, we’re paying for your college education crap…” And that alone would evidence their intolerance. The reality of the situation is that you may have no other option. “You don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.” Be more about standing your ground rather than worrying and visualizing ‘what if’ scenarios. P.S. How’s your recovery going?

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The Rocky Safari