My Parents Want Me to Come Out to Them

Coming out has been an interesting process for me, to say the least. It took awhile before I ever told anyone but once one person knew, it became much easier to start telling the rest.

I’ve been very fortunate to have a positive coming out experience – for the most part. Growing up, no one ever asked me if I was gay which was good in some ways but bad in others. On one hand, I never got bullied – so that was nice! But I was also never put in a position to question my sexuality. “Being gay” never crossed my mind!

It wasn’t until high school that I started figuring things out. At that point, I was comfortable enough to tell some of my closest friends which was really awesome. I was pretty selective in who I told because I needed to know that the information wouldn’t make its way back to my family before I was ready for them to know.

I recently came out to my sister and she’s been a huge help. I was talking to her last night and she said, “Rock, I need to tell you something.”

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“It’s about your situation…” she continued, “You have to tell Mom and Dad on Easter or things could get ugly…”

“What? Why..?”

“I heard them talking about it last night and they’re pretty certain they know what’s up. Mom was upset that if you are gay that they’re not the first ones you’re telling,” she explained.

Then we had some back and forth discussion where I basically tried to self-justify my reasons for not telling them yet. And to be fair, I think I have some pretty good reasons. While I know my parents are cool and wouldn’t ever go to the extreme of kicking me out or anything like that, I still have pretty good evidence to believe they’re anti-gay to some extent.

My sister went on, “I heard Mom say to Dad that they want to know the truth before you go back to college.”

Oh. So I guess I’ll be coming out to them this weekend? On Easter?

Kind of like this! (Source: http://www.you-stylish-barcelona-apartments.com/)
(Photo Source: http://www.you-stylish-barcelona-apartments.com/)

To make light of the situation, I told my sister that I should color a rainbow Easter Egg, write “I’m gay!” across it, and then announce to them when I find it. But in all seriousness, I’m kind of excited and kind of scared.

My sister once told me that my Mom said to my Dad, “Even if he is gay, I just want him to be happy” which should be enough for me to know it’ll be okay – but fear will always still exist.

I had to ask my sister again: “Do you think they’ll care?”

She said back, “I’m not gonna lie… yes… they care… they have their own opinions but that’s no reason to change who you are.”

I feel like their comments are so wishy-washy that it’s impossible to determine how they’ll react to me coming out. Sometimes they say “the right things” and other times, they don’t. Either way, I want them to know. I’ve hated having to hide it from them and I think I’ll be happier afterwards.

On the down side, this will likely be the most stressful Easter of my life.

(Click here to read about what I ended up doing!)

22 Comments

        1. Hmmm aunts and uncles – unlikely but possible. Friends parents – unlikely but possible. I’d be pretty shocked because it isn’t really their place to send my blog to my parents.

          I’m pretty confident their suspicions are forming from my extended lack of romantic interest in women throughout my 18 years of existence haha. No girlfriends in high school and now in college was bound to raise an eyebrow eventually~

          1. That’s very true. I recently posted a story about joining a fraternity and next thing I knew, my post was featured on the frat’s national website and brothers were sending me messages congratulating me. It was great and all but it was also the first time friends in real life approached me about my blog.

            So yes, I totally see where you’re coming from. And it’s funny- when my sister first said she needed to tell me something, my first thought was – “My parents found my blog” lol

          2. You know what, it’s absolutely possible!

            Keep in mind, my parents are still speculative. If they read my blog, then I’d think they would be pretty sure I really am gay after seeing how many posts I’ve said it in.

            In any case, it won’t be long until I know what has been said and known. I suppose I’ll get back to you on this!

  1. Are you absolutely sure it is “fear” or could it possibly be nervousness? From what you’ve shared, they already recognize the fact that you might be gay. If they didn’t love you, they probably wouldn’t even consider that option. The idea of a rainbow-colored holiday egg is cute and may reduce the tension. Either way, once the truth is revealed, you’ll feel better and so will they. Best wishes, my blogging buddy! Much love and gay, naked hugs! 🙂

  2. Pingback: The Story of How I Came Out to My Parents on Easter at 3AM | Basically Beyond Basic

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