I Didn’t Know “Paradise” Was Sleeping With Sheets That Don’t Fit Your Mattress

As we prepared to enter our newly upgraded room at the Paradise Beach Resort in Mykonos, Jorge and I were both in for quite a surprise. During the online booking process, we saw that we would be staying in a nice room with a Queen-size bed and a typical Mykonian curved-wall shower. Photos of the room on the website highlighted their large wardrobe, clean bathroom, and two nightstands on both sides of the bed. While the photos didn’t look like anything too extravagant, they made it clear that the room would be perfect for a short stay: AKA one night. As I’ve mentioned, the main reason we booked a room at the Paradise Beach Resort in the first place was for the location.

Super Paradise Beach – a popular gay destination!

During our check in, the clerk really tried to make it seem like he was doing us a favor by upgrading our room. Of course, my belief is that the true reason behind this “upgrade” was that our original room was unavailable most likely due to their own disorganization and poor management. There wasn’t really any say in the matter (it was stated that we were being upgraded whether we liked it or not) so we had to wait even longer to get to our room because of it. With each passing moment, I could feel my anticipation growing.

What would our room look like? Would we score a nice view of the ocean? Might we have a balcony? Will it overlook the beach? The possibilities rushed through my mind.

Finally, at last, it was time to enter the room! We stood outside of an ice cube-shaped building. I never imagined we’d be on the ground floor room but it appears as though that was how all the units were arranged. We put the key into the lock and turned the knob. Into our room we walked.

Ta-Da!

In the photo with Jorge, you might notice the room looks a bit dark. Sorry, that’s because we just walked in. Let’s turn on the lights!

..

All done! What a difference! Don’t you think?

..

Sorry, what’s that? Oh you still can’t see anything? But it’s the middle of the day- just past 2PM. I mean… this is the only light installed in the entire room so I’m not sure what else to tell you. I guess we can try opening the windows and let in some of the natural daylight. Maybe that will help!

Much better!

Oh… you still think the room is too dark? Oh… well then. I guess you’ll have to just go outside if light is what you want. This is a budget resort, okay? Chill out. This is vacation. Kick back, lay on the floor or the bed (you won’t notice a difference one way or the other), and enjoy the A.C. Just be sure NOT TO TAKE THE ROOM KEY OUT FROM THE SWITCH BY THE DOOR or you’ll immediately kill all electricity in the room shutting off the “light”, the much needed air conditioning, and even the refrigerator.

I’d suggest enjoying the view from our sole window but it points out at the wall of the neighboring unit. There’s nothing to see there. At least your phone screen is bright enough to be seen in the dark room! If you just wanted to waste some time before going back down to the beach, I would have suggested connecting to the resort’s WiFi network but it doesn’t actually work. That’s a real shame because it makes it that much more difficult to read all of the lovely reviews about the resort on TripAdvisor.

When I looked up these reviews (October 6, 2018) I honestly felt like it validated my whole entire experience. I never realized how universally unhappy guests were with the staff and the quality of the rooms. I did not have time to investigate many of the reviews prior to our trip because we found & booked our room literally less than 24 hours before checking in and a million big decisions were happening all at once.

If you have to use the toilet, just like in mainland Greece, don’t flush the toilet paper. God forbid!

Our first observations were that the bathroom featured a Mykonian shower and smelled of Meconium. Still, it was tolerable and probably the least offensive aspect of the room.

Anyway, we had a lovely first day on the beach. At night, we went to some of the craziest parties I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Afterwards, we went back to our resort. It was around that time that Jorge noticed that under the pillows, our bed sheets weren’t even big enough to cover the mattress. Never mind the fact that our Queen-size bed was somehow “upgraded” for two sets of two twin beds slid together creating two larger and awkwardly configured beds.

This photo isn’t a joke. I wish I were kidding. This is how our beds were made upon our arrival to Paradise Beach Resort. With bed sheets that did not fit the mattresses. I especially enjoyed the irony of the branding with having the word “PARADISE” shoved in your face while you smother your head in the uncovered and certainly filthy mattress underneath.

I guess the beauty in owning your own resort is the freedom that comes along with it to define what you consider “paradise” to mean. In this case, paradise is the owner getting rich while cutting corners and costs in every little way possible to make as much money as humanly possible at the expense of the guests.


The Rocky Safari

Hello! My name is Rocky and this blog is where I write about the most peculiar things that have happened while wandering around the world. Follow this blog to read about my journey and receive my newest stories as they happen!

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6 Comments

  1. The small sheets aren’t anything near paradise. They probably cut corners because it’s close to a very popular destination and many tourists don’t have a choice.
    Sorry your stay wasn’t too pleasant.

    1. The Rocky Safari

      Spot on. The choices were very limited. Especially in the lower price range. While I usually say you get what you pay for and admit the resort was one of the less expensive options on the island, I still honestly do feel we got LESS than we paid for haha.

  2. lmao, i love “crappy hotel” stories. when i went to Ireland i had an attic-like room that looked similar to your photos, except with one bed and a five foot ceiling (I’m 5’3″- i had to duck.)

    At the end of the day it’s all part of the adventure. 🙂

    1. The Rocky Safari

      Hahahah oh gosh! Was this at an actual hotel? Or some type of AirBnB/couchsurfing attic room? Sounds very unpleasant, I’m sorry to hear that it was like that. 😂 But you are totally right. There’s no denying we had a total blast on the island regardless of how underwhelming the room was.

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