Something unique to non-heterosexuals is this idea that we must\u00a0“come out” and share our sexual orientation in order to eliminate societies default\u00a0assumption that\u00a0people\u00a0are\u00a0straight. In my personal experience, coming out has proved\u00a0both useful and necessary in a variety of situations. My immediate family did not suspect that I was gay. Many friends were unsure. People can’t always tell\u00a0at first glance. Coming out to people clears up the confusion and questions.<\/p>\n
I suspect reasons for delaying coming out vary from person to person. The fact\u00a0of the matter is that coming out\u00a0is<\/strong>\u00a0scary and LGBT people\u00a0weigh many\u00a0factors each time the\u00a0decision\u00a0is made.<\/p>\n The question of\u00a0whether or not a\u00a0person already knows\u00a0can be\u00a0particularly unnerving. If you suspect the person has absolutely no idea, then the decision to come out to\u00a0them becomes even more\u00a0sensitive. You have no idea what will\u00a0happen after you\u00a0tell them. Will coming out make them look at you differently? Sometimes\u00a0you\u00a0want\u00a0to casually remind them that you’re still the same person in hopes of minimizing that\u00a0impact.<\/p>\n If family and friends\u00a0express that they have had suspicions, I’ve found this\u00a0can feel strangely comforting. It is like the person\u00a0already knew but wanted\u00a0confirmation. It seems to lighten the blow of the information and reduces tension from\u00a0the conversation. I’ve found these discussions\u00a0to be the easiest.<\/p>\n What I haven’t had to deal with until recently\u00a0is something slightly different. Coming out to people who I know<\/strong> already<\/strong> know<\/strong> that I’m gay.<\/p>\n In case that sounds\u00a0a little confusing, allow me to explain.<\/p>\n Take my family, for example. When I came out to my parents awhile back, I know my dad\u00a0turned around and told several of my family members what I had told him. While my extended family\u00a0knowing is not a problem as far as I’m concerned, the fact that they didn’t hear it\u00a0from me<\/em> is. To this day, I still haven’t had this\u00a0conversation with most\u00a0of them and as I think about the future, I continue to weigh this\u00a0frustrating family dynamic\u00a0in the back of my mind.<\/p>\n If I come out to\u00a0them and they act surprised, I’ll know they’re pretending. If they ask why I waited so long to tell them, I’m not sure I’ll\u00a0have an answer. Even if they showed some form of disapproval, I’d probably be more<\/em> upset by\u00a0the fact that I know\u00a0they have\u00a0felt this way\u00a0for as long as they have\u00a0without being able to talk to them\u00a0about it.\u00a0As someone who pays a lot\u00a0of attention to the way people react, this makes me feel very uneasy.<\/p>\n Regarding\u00a0friends and acquaintances, it can be challenging to remember who you’ve\u00a0come out to. Many times people will already know and you may\u00a0not even be aware of it.\u00a0This uncertainty has forced me to adopt an “everyone already knows” mentality where in many instances, I decide to skip the step of ‘coming out’ altogether and immediately bring up guys\u00a0I have dated or had\u00a0relationships with.<\/p>\n They say coming out is a continuous process that\u00a0never\u00a0ends. I think the “everyone-already-knows” mentality\u00a0becomes more acceptable and easier to adopt with time. There will always be situations where it simply won’t work though. Particularly when you meet new people, it can be\u00a0tricky to bring up.\u00a0When you consider\u00a0relationships, it is inevitable that more people will either find out\u00a0or figure it out on their own- especially in the age of social media where anyone can see that picture of the date you went on last weekend.\u00a0So\u00a0to what extent do\u00a0we need to\u00a0come out to the people we know<\/strong> already know? It seems there are times when it can be casually brushed over in conversation and other times when the conversation must still\u00a0happen. It’s a messy and complicated issue.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Something unique to non-heterosexuals is this idea that we must\u00a0“come out” and share our sexual orientation in order to eliminate …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":20710,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5330],"tags":[1006,1828],"yoast_head":"\n\n
\nI agree but only to an extent.<\/p>\n