I know I should probably feel super excited about turning 21 in less than two hours but I am filled with more anxiety right now than anything else. Turning 18, three years ago, was a weird birthday for me. Mostly because of the whole, “I’m an adult now,” thing. But for some reason, 21 feels even weirder…
With this being my last year of college, everything else is becoming all too real. Work, life, finances, the next step, the whole thing. I think a major part of the quarter-life crisis I’m experiencing is based around the idea that I always “had time” to figure out the rest of my life. My dreams and aspirations were something I could look forward to, plan for and hope to accomplish, all the while knowing that some day I would have the ability to choose which dreams to act on and which ones to simply leave behind.
Except, now, I am reaching the point in my life where the time to act is now. Decisions I make going forward will have a significant impact on me in the years to come. Isn’t that a scary thought? Even if it is true that it is never too late to change, re-structure, and alter your life, that doesn’t change the fact that everything that is happening right now still matters.
I kind of miss the days when I could sit down with my notepad, doodle all day long, and have Pokemon playing in the background. I mean, I guess I could still do that, in theory… But it would be much harder to not think about other things in the process.