A question most gay guys spend a decent amount of time thinking about is the mystery of whether or not their parents know they’re gay. I’m sure some guys think their must parents must know. Some must feel it’s so obvious it doesn’t even need to be spoken aloud. Others have already taken the steps to come out and know that their parents know. There are also those who think their parents suspect something but aren’t sure how much they know. And then there are people like me.
I’m in a slightly different boat: I have pretty good reason to believe my parents do NOT know.
I have a hard time wrapping my head around that. How can they not tell?
I don’t think it is very hard to tell. As much as I hate stereotypes, they always have some truth to them.
Growing up, I hated sports. My parents encouraged me to play them and would sign me up for this and that, but they both discovered with me that I didn’t enjoy any of them. I tried baseball, basketball, soccer, bowling, tennis, fencing, you name it. Hated them all. I remember sitting in the dug outs thinking about how I didn’t fit in with all of the guys. I remember thinking about how out of place I felt. I didn’t belong on the field.
I was always more of the artistic type. I loved to draw and I still do! My #1 items on every Christmas list was always some kind of art supply.
A good majority of my friends are girls. It’s been that way since Kindergarten. I hung out with a few guys in elementary school but that was when kids were kids and anyone could play with anyone. In middle school, it became more of a challenge.
I’ve had highlights in my hair since age 5, no joke.
Oh, and I’ve never had a girlfriend! Most guys I know started dating girls in like 6th grade. I’m now a freshman in college.
COME ON NOW, REALLY, NOT EVEN A SLIGHT SUSPICION?
I remember I told my mom I was straight when I was in the 7th grade but could she really be holding on to that to this day? I didn’t even know I liked guys back then!
I’ve been told I don’t sound all that “gay” so that makes being able to tell a little trickier.
I put a lot of thought into my outfits and I guess my parents have interpreted that as me simply caring about how I dress. Which is actually the truth. It’s perceived as a gay characteristic but to me, it’s just who I am.
My mom still tells me how I’m so sensitive and when my first girlfriend breaks up with me I’m going to cry and cry and cry. I wish I could tell her about my last relationship and let her know that I actually wasn’t all that heartbroken at all… in fact, I was relieved.
My younger sister is on a constant mission to figure out my “type.” In fact, this Thanksgiving weekend, she found a picture of a girl hugging a goose with a heart drawn around her on my laptop. It was the profile picture of a girl I met online seven years ago but my sister INSISTED it was my girlfriend… Lol yeah okay.
My dad was Black Friday shopping with me yesterday and I told him how a guy behind me in line at American Eagle told me he likes my pants and wanted to know where they came from. My dad, being a wise guy, was like, “Wait, was it a guy or a girl that said that?” I looked at him, knowing EXACTLY where this was going, and played it off by saying, “A guy… these are guys’ pants I’m wearing,” and he goes, “Well if it were a girl, you’re supposed to ask her if she likes the pants or what’s in them.” OK PLEASE NOTE: My Dad’s not a creep – this is just gross guy-humor that I think most men find funny but I looked at him and said, “Ew Dad, please stop haha” and he goes, “Oh boy, we’ve got some serious work to do with you.” I gave him a chuckle, smiled, and looked away to wince. Love my dad but hate these moments.
I can’t believe it. I’m 18, I basically make no effort to hide my sexuality, and yet my parents still couldn’t be any less aware.
I guess at some point I will have to come right out and tell them the truth. I HATE that it will have to be such a shock.
UPDATE: I came out to them on Easter and they were shocked. Check out my post!